The mindful approach to taming stressful thoughts
/Thoughts that are triggered by stress tend to take us into a downward spiral of negativity, and we can get completely enmeshed with them. Using mindfulness, we can learn a crucial skill to get separation from and perspective toward these stressful thoughts.
Our minds tend to tell stories, especially when we’re under stress—overthinking problems and creating worst-case scenarios while jumping to conclusions. This pessimistic and typically inaccurate thinking style can cause us to feel drained and de-energized about actually solving the problem.
And worse, once these thought loops are triggered it can be very hard to unhook from them, especially as they become more rigid and repetitive and drive up our stressful emotions.
That’s where the genius of mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness helps us detach from stressful thoughts and create a space between the thought, our interpretation of what it means, and our response. This shift can change our impulsive stress reactions to thoughtful responses. Once unhooked from a stress-induced, ruminative thought loop, we can regain a measure of calm and think more productively about solving our problems.
A study published in the Springer Journal of Mindfulness by Raes and Williams, explores the relationship between rumination and mindfulness, suggesting that, “ The greater skill in mindful awareness, either naturally occurring or cultivated in meditation practices, does not mean that people do not ruminate, but that they are better at noticing it when it occurs so that they subsequently can disengage from it.”
And let me be very clear, disengaging and detaching by observing our thoughts changes our relationship to them whereas trying to suppress or avoid them increases their hold on us.
3 Mindfulness Techniques to Detach from and Reframe Stressful Thoughts
Awareness and Acceptance - Become aware of your negative thoughts and accept them. When stressful thinking intrudes, instead of pushing the thoughts away or trying to stop them, simply accept them as normal. Don’t resist them, just observe them, and let them be. Just as the heart pumps blood, the mind thinks thoughts. When we accept our negative thoughts as a normal result of stress, we can start to get some distance from them.
Label your thoughts - Liberation from the tyranny of stressful thinking starts to develop as you see that your thoughts are just thoughts – a set of words and images passing through the mind. Label the thoughts as, “thinking, thinking,” to help you see them as simply mental events, not the full reality. Or you can get more specific with the labeling: “I’m having the thought that I’m going to lose my job, or I’m having the thought that I will fail the test tomorrow.” With this approach, you start to see that you are not the thought, you are just having it. Then a kind of spaciousness starts to appear between your thoughts and subsequent actions. By labeling the thoughts, you are making room for them and honoring your process.
Redirect attention to your resources and next action step - Once you’re feeling calmer and less overtaken by your thoughts, refocus your attention on what you have control over. You can even ask yourself, “What do I have control over in this situation?” Then take an action step toward solving the problem. This step gets you in touch with your own problem-solving abilities and the resources you can turn to. Bring attitudes of kindness and compassion towards yourself as you work with your stress. Self-compassion starts to develop as we accept our thoughts and emotions as a natural part of our stress response and being human.
“We bring awareness to them as they arise and then intentionally let them go.”
Over time, you start to develop insight into your habitual thought patterns that arise when you’re triggered by stress. You become familiar with them, and no longer take them so seriously. For me, I’ve learned I am a worrier and tend to have catastrophic thoughts when under stress. Now that I know this about myself, I’m not too bothered by this thinking style and sometimes I even find it humorous. This doesn’t change the stressor that’s occurred but my response style towards it feels more resilient. I don’t feel as overwhelmed and helpless about solving the problem.
To learn more about using a mindful approach to reduce stress and increase resilience, please email me.
